So here I am.

If you had asked me a five years ago what I'd be doing in five years, being a mom wouldn't have been in the top five things on my list.  Hell, it wouldn't have even made the list at all.  Not because I didn't want to ever be a mom.  Not even because I was opposed to doing it so soon.  But because I just didn't forsee it.  Not even a little bit.

That being said, even further from possibly being in my future would have been almost every part of the situation I am in.  Did I know I'd be divorced?  No.  Did I know my other half would be such a perfect fit for me that I'd have to pinch myself on a daily basis, just to find out whether I was dreaming?  No.  Did I know I'd be in a commited relationship with another man at all?  No.

Even as surprising as all these things would seem to me (maybe not to everyone, especially those who don't know me, but to me), the situation I am in now breaks my number one rule.  This man that I consider my other half, the most compatible partner I could ever have, has a daughter of his own, from a previous relationship.  Not only does he have a child with another woman, he has sole custody of his daughter.  And we all live together.  She tells people I am her step-mom.  She very often asks if she can call me mommy.  And it doesn't bother me.  At all.

Delina is, at times, very difficult to live with.  Not because she's not a lovely girl, but because the situation with her Mom is very stressful.  And she is supposed to visit with her Mom weekly.  This is as specific as I'll get on that subject because this is her cross to bear, not mine.  And frankly, it's none of anyone else's business.  But Delina can be very oppositional, she can pit her father and I against each other, and she is extremely strong willed.  When she's not thinking about how to push our buttons, though, she is just like any 5 year old girl.  She is very playful, funny and insightful.  She is waaay too smart for  her own good sometimes.  And I'm sure her intelligence level makes it even more difficult to live in a split family, because she understands it.  All of it. 

None of these things make me regret being in the situation I am in. Not even a little bit.  I am happier than I have ever been, and I'm learning how to be a mom as I go.  It was thrown in my lap, and now that I am a Mom to my own son, I'm glad I had the practice. And I welcome all of it.  Probably because this is where I'm supposed to be.  And this is exactly when I am supposed to be here.  I'm sure of it.